The Quest for fellowship
I believe most people will agree with me that they love to fellowship with fellow human beings. Possibly what may differ is the level of fellowship they cherish, but the bottom line is that as human beings we are social animals. We love to relate to fellow human beings. But the question is who do we really need to relate to in this life?
Make Wise Choices
The person you choose to relate to is a very important part of your future. The person you relate with has tremendous power and influence over you. This is why it is important for you to be careful as to who you allow into your space. This is true for both marriage and other social relationships. Who you marry has real power to drive you to heaven or to hell. The person you allow into your inner circle has more or less the same powers because of the sickness which we call trust. It is very difficult for an outsider to harm you because they do not know your routines drills and at times value system.
Humble but not stupid
A lot of people are sadly naïve and go to an early grave due to allowing wrong people in their circles. They believe that as Christians they should trust everyone and be going around playing nice guy or Father Christmas to everyone, as a result they share critical information with malicious no-no persons who end up using it in highly wicked ways. These people are naïve and easily gullible and too trusting without checking or establishing the track record of who they are trusting. The bible speaks of one such a character called Abner who decided to hug his enemy Joab and ended up with the kiss of death.
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Relationships are not compulsory
Love is the element which God demands from every Christian believer. However relationships are purely by choice. I take it to imply that relationships have to be based on observation over a period of time. No one meets a random girl today and marries them next week, unless it is a supernatural event, but a normal human being loves to take time in order to trust. Relationships are therefore not compulsory. They have to be rooted in shared common values and at times societal exposure.
A Cat is a Cat
If you fail to put the line of demarcation in your life, chances are that you will fall prey to the numerous predators who are out there. I remember a very sad situation where my daughter because of her too trusting nature decided to hire a certain social miscreant to work in her boutique. Since she was new, she operated in shared space. Unfortunately the other day certain merchandise went missing in the other side of the boutique and the co-owner of the space accused my daughter’s worker of stealing it. The scene got ugly and the other owner got my daughter’s worker arrested. My daughter quickly went to the courts and bailed her by paying off the fine and the other person before requesting the courts to release her worker. That done the released employee had an additional request she needed new rental space at my daughters house. My daughter gladly offered her a spare bedroom in our Harare home and literally looked after that lady. But one day she woke up on the wrong side of the bed and started demanding her salary when she had been previously told that my daughter had used it to bail her out of prison and even added more of her other money to compensate the complainant. She even told my daughter that she never asked her to get her released from prison. I laughed when I heard the story because I knew exactly the kind of person who does that.
The three types of friends
It is therefore important for you as a leader to have clarity of understanding when it comes to people you can relate to in life. There are some people who like you for what you can provide for them. This explains why a richman has too many friends it’s because what he can offer those people. You may offer money, fame, connections, anointing or knowledge which they need. These friends are called friends for a reason. If the reason or circumstances change they walk away. You are a crutch in their lives. They basically need you. The other friends show up in a certain season of your life say divorce or rehabilitation. They will be very useful and impactful at that juncture of your life. You may be recovering from a devastating divorce, they will help you navigate past that road. Somehow they will then shift out of your life. Sometimes the reason they shift is because they never hoped to see a stronger you emerging so they cannot stomach the helpless person becoming an authority. Their season therefore passes. The most useful relationship is the one I cherish a lot, it is called the relationship forever. This one is a tried and tested relationship, which weathers any kind of storm.
Build forever relationships
It is important to audit your relationships periodically to see where you stand with your so called friends. Keep a track record of friends’ classification, so that when they somersault, you will not be shocked. Knowledge has liberating power. However I desire to see you graduate into a forever relationship. This one is usually built on values such as integrity, care and fairness. You need to stop being the only beneficiary in relationships you engage in. People will end up tired of you if you are not able to add reciprocal value to them. That is why you ought to develop yourself so that you always have something to offer, people do not respect beggars even if they occasionally give them alms. A win-win relationship is a collaborative and mutually beneficial partnership where both parties achieve their desired outcomes while contributing to each other’s success. Create a Balanced Value Exchange in your life both parties must gain value, ensuring that the benefits are not one-sided. The objectives and goals of both parties must be aligned, creating a shared vision for success. Learn to be a humble and smart leader.
All things said and done, Jesus Christ remains the Ultimate Leader, follow him and many will follow you. He will grant you access to an eternal relationship with the Heavenly Father. Rise and shine as you relate for the next level.
Happy birthday to His Royal Majesty King Letsie lll. May Jehovah God grant you many more birthday celebrations. We celebrate you Father of the Nation (Kingdom of Lesotho).
Dr Ted Msipa is Pastor, Author, Visionary and Public Speaker based in Maseru, Lesotho. He writes here in his personal capacity and view shared here do not necessarily reflect those of Africa News 24. He solves organisational development challenges and leadership challenges. Dr Ted can be reached on Coachted117@gmail.com or on +266 63177309.
